♀GIRL CONTENT AHEAD!: Most Embarrassing Moment

Not that I'll ever suspect a guy of reading my blog but still the warning is that a guy can skip this and live a perfectly fulfilled life.

Anyway...

This happened to me my freshman year of college. I had just given blood because:

• I could save three lives with 1 pint of blood
• My then boyfriend and I wanted to do it together (Interesting date, eh?)
• Free t-shirt
• Free cookies ☺

Well what I did not realize was that next week I would be starting my cycle. After the first day I stop caring about drinking enough to "replenish your fluids" and left off after one day.

You can probably see where this is going.

I had never had cramps before. I would be sore and maybe a little sick to my stomach the first day but the rest of the week I'd be fine. That morning I got dressed but fell a sudden "pull" in my stomach. 

I had never felt it before but my roommate, who always got cramps and got them bad dismissed it easily as "It's cramps. You will feel like your [stomach] is eating itself but, hey, congratulations you're a woman." so I figured I'd take an ibuprofen and be fine. I was fine and didn't feel anything until I was eating lunch with Stephen. After the meal ended I began to get the feeling like my stomach was clenching itself in protest....and I really had to pee. So I go and do my business and he waited outside for me because we had a service to go to and we were going together. 

Well after I get out we still have time so we sit in the campus snack shop...and I'm getting sicker and sicker. Finally I figure my ibuprofen wore off and I need to get more so I buy some from the campus store and take it but of course it doesn't work instantly and I feel like I need to go again. 

Unfortunately this service was a service outside visitors would come to in droves so every bathroom had a line except for the dorms...which were locked because we needed to head to the service. Finally I go to the chapel and tell Stephen to wait downstairs while I went upstairs to go to the bathroom again. He has a sister so he can guess at what is wrong with me and is a little concerned because while I could not see it I was growing paler. I got upstairs finally and as soon as I got into a stall my body lurched forward and threw up my lunch and the undissolved ibuprofen into the toilet. After that I felt well enough to go back downstairs and try to brave the service out. But after I go downstairs I fell again like my stomach is about to have an encore since the first experience wasn't painful enough. As soon as I meet Stephen I ask him if he has a bag and as soon as he hands one to me I throw up into it. Now there are a lot of visitors...it's also a very warm spring day...and it's in the south....and the foyer for the chapel is CROWDED. So I leaned again a wall while Stephen made panicked phone calls to my sister.

 

Finally the pain, heat, and loss of fluids cause me to faint but wake up as soon as I hit the floor. Then one or two girls finally notice I am not well and turn to look at me. They then ask Stephen repeatedly, who is still trying to get my sister to come because I'm sick and he doesn't know what to do, "Is she okay? What's wrong with her? Is she ok? Did she eat something?" and a few other people began to crowd around me in curiosity. Finally my sister gets there with her friend, Austin. Austin is always a little squeamish so when he saw the bag of throw up in my hand and my yellow face and lavender lips (according to my sister) he almost contributed another queasy stomach to the event. 

As my sister got there the first thing she did was tell everyone TO BACK OFF. She was getting bumped and towered over by curious people who "wanted to help" by asking as many questions as we couldn't answer. I said to her as clearly as I could because I was a little disoriented "It's my period. It's my period." and she was like "Ah, ok I'll get someone to help. NOW EVERYONE BACK OFF SHE NEEDS SPACE!" Finally an usher came over and asked if he could help and got someone to take me to a side room. The girl who helped me get into the side room was nice enough but she obviously would rather be sitting with her boyfriend that she was texting than helping a girl who needed desperately to go to the bathroom again. Thankfully that side room had that.  

So while i'm doing my business suddenly I get the feeling I am about to faint...bad. And I m completely embarrassed. (While this is going on the pain in my stomach is increasing and it feels like it is eating itself...) The last thing I wanted was to faint and have them find me while my "pants are down" so to speak but I knew I needed help so I finished up and as soon as I got my pants on I let myself fall on the floor and called for them to help me. Before they had considered perhaps I could just stay in the side room on a floor cot and listen to the service, but now they figured I needed to go to the campus hospital.

So they drag in the rickety fold-up wheelchair and begin to roll me there and she . stops . any. time . I . make . a . noise . of . pain. Finally I tell her "Please just keep going I want to get there." and she only stops to make sure no cars are coming when she is crossing the street. As we head up the hill to the hospital a kindly male member of staff stop and asks if I am all right...

I'm in a wheelchair, I'm discolored, clutching my stomach in pain, making groans and I can hardly focus my eyes on one thing at a time because they're rolling around 

...and you ask "Is she not feeling well?" 

(facepalm)

So I finally get there and as I'm rolled in they call the triage nurse to come and help me. Now the triage nurse is actually someone I know a little outside the hospital and I meant to catch up with her before then. Buts he comes barreling out and ask "Jess! What happened?" and I say "Hi, Mrs. Vanderwarker I'm sorry I haven't contacted you this semester." 

So that all being said I was in a hospital room and was able to keep some pain meds down so I could sleep until the pain finally went away.

But to this day I still laugh when I think of seeing someone who is obviously sick and the only question you ask is "Is she not well?" or "Is she ok?"